Last Night in Illinois (618)

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  you should give me head with plastic fangs in

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Disappointment?

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