Farmville is her only friend.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
