Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
