I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
