Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
