Last Night in California (916)

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• (916): View more from California

  So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?

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• (916): View more from California

  my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.

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• (916): View more from California

  He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants

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• (916): View more from California

  She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad

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• (916): View more from California

  Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms

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• (916): View more from California

  craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

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• (916): View more from California

  i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...

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• (212): View more from New York

  i want you now

  (916): View more from California

  you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

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• (916): View more from California

  Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?

  (760): View more from California

  You are my hero

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• (916): View more from California

  she's into porn, im staying here tonight

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• (916): View more from California

  Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?

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• (916): View more from California

  Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.

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• (916): View more from California

  I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.

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• (916): View more from California

  I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.

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