Texts From Last Night · AlkaliSam's Favorites

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AlkaliSam's Favorites Texts:

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(505): View more from New Mexico

It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"

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(210): View more from Texas

I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.

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