Texts From Last Night · BS_ASSASSIN's Favorites

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BS_ASSASSIN's Favorites Texts:

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(318): View more from Louisiana

What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?

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(44): View more from United Kingdom

Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?

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(516): View more from New York

The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.

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(360): View more from Washington

he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them

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(905): View more from Ontario

The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Clearly I made an impression.

(404): View more from Georgia

Or at least your vagina did.

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(817): View more from Texas

She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.

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