Texts From Last Night · BrockLanders's Favorites

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BrockLanders's Favorites Texts:

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever

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(317): View more from Indiana

Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.

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(319): View more from Iowa

On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

(316): View more from Kansas

Toaster

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.

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