Texts From Last Night · Dog_goD's Favorites

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Dog_goD's Favorites Texts:

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(951): View more from California

Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*

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(407): View more from Florida

Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.

(240): View more from Maryland

Sorry, who is this??

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.

(314): View more from Missouri

Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.

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(352): View more from Florida

How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?

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(705): View more from Ontario

They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride

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