Texts From Last Night · Florida_pride's Favorites

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Florida_pride's Favorites Texts:

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.

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(530): View more from California

I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me

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(705): View more from Ontario

He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.

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(260): View more from Indiana

He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth

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(914): View more from New York

Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.

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(298): View more from

The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.

(208): View more from Idaho

You're the only meteorologist I listen to.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?

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