Texts From Last Night · Floyd42's Favorites

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Floyd42's Favorites Texts:

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(435): View more from Utah

Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'

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(586): View more from Michigan

You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"

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(425): View more from Washington

i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"

(206): View more from Washington

do it. it's every man's dream.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.

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(845): View more from New York

So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.

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(585): View more from New York

she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over

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(559): View more from California

I queefed so loud it echoed.

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(480): View more from Arizona

She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like

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