Texts From Last Night · autopatch's Favorites

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autopatch's Favorites Texts:

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?

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(254): View more from Texas

There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator

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