I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
