that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
