dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
