When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize