Texts From Last Night · aylax's Favorites

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aylax's Favorites Texts:

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(314): View more from Missouri

I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.

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(925): View more from California

I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too

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(337): View more from Louisiana

The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth

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(480): View more from Arizona

You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.

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