Texts From Last Night · bettieb's Favorites

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bettieb's Favorites Texts:

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(+61): View more from Australia

You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out

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(254): View more from Texas

You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.

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(619): View more from California

Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.

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(707): View more from California

Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.

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