i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
