the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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