Texts From Last Night · chemlove1013's Favorites

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chemlove1013's Favorites Texts:

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".

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(347): View more from New York

Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..

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(917): View more from New York City

Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.

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(206): View more from Washington

I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.

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(315): View more from New York

Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?

(540): View more from Virginia

Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude

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