Texts From Last Night · hanl0541's Favorites

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hanl0541's Favorites Texts:

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles

Fav 18 3785 1007
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(323): View more from California

Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets

Fav 9 1723 1440
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(618): View more from Illinois

I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka

Fav 4 1976 1513
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone

Fav 16 4004 1117
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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.

Fav 6 1479 981
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(989): View more from Michigan

My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war

Fav 12 2962 1033
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(706): View more from Georgia

Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.

Fav 11 2687 1234
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(740): View more from Ohio

I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.

Fav 10 2600 1007
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(813): View more from Florida

It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"

Fav 9 2057 1120
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