Texts From Last Night · hootch's Favorites

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hootch's Favorites Texts:

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(253): View more from Washington

We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.

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(301): View more from Maryland

my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings

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