Texts From Last Night · jrosem's Favorites

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jrosem's Favorites Texts:

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you

Fav 8 4193 1000
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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.

Fav 50 6020 1958
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(313): View more from Michigan

There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding

Fav 16 1783 4006
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(410): View more from Maryland

They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.

Fav 9 3023 1505
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(305): View more from Florida

No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.

Fav 9 2660 1409
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(503): View more from Oregon

I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.

Fav 12 3659 2179
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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

Where the hell are you

(706): View more from Georgia

He's winning.

Fav 23 6117 1557
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(443): View more from Maryland

you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.

Fav 10 6678 1483
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