Texts From Last Night · kelseyc's Favorites

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kelseyc's Favorites Texts:

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.

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(217): View more from Illinois

i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.

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(517): View more from Michigan

you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii

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(561): View more from Florida

I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five

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