Texts From Last Night · larson0126's Favorites

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larson0126's Favorites Texts:

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters

Fav 83 11866 2384
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.

Fav 11 7925 1585
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(614): View more from Ohio

My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.

Fav 26 6529 4124
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(803): View more from South Carolina

If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?

Fav 22 4622 2007
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(601): View more from Mississippi

K. On the way. I need a drink.

(904): View more from Florida

Like a drink drink or like water?

(601): View more from Mississippi

Have we met?

Fav 10 6670 1375
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(254): View more from Texas

that's what penises do

(254): View more from Texas

they tell lies.

Fav 14 5052 1732
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.

Fav 16 6771 1329
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(410): View more from Maryland

She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.

Fav 97 4803 10322
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