Texts From Last Night · onlyoneua's Favorites

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onlyoneua's Favorites Texts:

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(562): View more from California

Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car

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(609): View more from New Jersey

You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.

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(410): View more from Maryland

We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.

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