Texts From Last Night · rembrant's Favorites

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rembrant's Favorites Texts:

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(518): View more from New York

Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis

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(540): View more from Virginia

For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.

Fav 24 8298 1928
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

My brain says no but my pants say off.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

SEEEEXXX PLEASE

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.

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(334): View more from Alabama

i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face

(1-334): View more from Alabama

so you're single again?

(334): View more from Alabama

yea but it was worth it

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(248): View more from Michigan

i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.

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(716): View more from New York

Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

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(319): View more from Iowa

On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

(316): View more from Kansas

Toaster

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