Texts From Last Night · rock_CHICKEN1's Favorites

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rock_CHICKEN1's Favorites Texts:

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(720): View more from Colorado

Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.

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(812): View more from Indiana

the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.

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(904): View more from Florida

My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.

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(817): View more from Texas

Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...

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(714): View more from California

Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?

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