are you so shy because you have an std?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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