ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
