Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
