awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
