Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
