the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Randomize