Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
