If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
