Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
