I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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