Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
false alarm, still single
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
