The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize