Texts From Last Night · stuperfantastic's Favorites

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stuperfantastic's Favorites Texts:

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(360): View more from Washington

So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.

(941): View more from Florida

it was a krispy kreme

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(813): View more from Florida

If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.

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(219): View more from Indiana

Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"

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(913): View more from Kansas

some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.

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(256): View more from Alabama

from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.

(334): View more from Alabama

i do.

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