Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
thus making me awesome and them whores
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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