Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
