Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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