Texts From Last Night · theheatherland's Favorites

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theheatherland's Favorites Texts:

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(909): View more from California

I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.

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(480): View more from Arizona

In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."

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(907): View more from Alaska

Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.

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(830): View more from Texas

Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?

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(317): View more from Indiana

He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him

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(214): View more from Texas

COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!

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