I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize