so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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