Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
