It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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