Texts From Last Night · theodanus's Favorites

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theodanus's Favorites Texts:

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(515): View more from Iowa

As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!

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(303): View more from Colorado

Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.

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(734): View more from Michigan

It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free

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