Texts From Last Night · turdburgler's Favorites

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turdburgler's Favorites Texts:

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

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(404): View more from Georgia

What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often

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(713): View more from Texas

He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.

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(520): View more from Arizona

She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.

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(503): View more from Oregon

His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.

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