no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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