Last Night in Florida (239)

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• (239): View more from Florida

  In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?

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• (239): View more from Florida

  When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.

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• (323): View more from California

  I totes stole your whore crown.

  (239): View more from Florida

  With great power comes great responsibility.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?

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  Nah, just masturbating louder

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• (239): View more from Florida

  just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..

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• (239): View more from Florida

  So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".

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