Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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