We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
