Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
