Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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