Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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