she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
