Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
