Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize