is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
